thegoldendolphin

Levels inquiry into building a division between myself and myself:

I see I chose to be ill over/because of certain aspects of the world to make it seem like I can only be with God/myself temperamentally, or so that I’m with God/myself temperamentally. Something of the world being ’cause’ instills judgement periodically when I’m always the same constantly; and makes it seem like I’m completely different. For example, upset: felt and forgiven becomes bombastic and worthlessness.

I assumed illusory division using an aspect of the world when I was a child. Emotions or way of being that seemed to be not fit for purpose were/are actually very tender and gentle, sweet, wonderful, content – such is the Self. There’s nothing I wish to divide or separate from.

I voluntarily release and let go and offer over the desire to build a division between myself and myself.

I release and offer over the belief that world is cause/something of the world is cause.*

*an aspect of the world could be food, substance, people, environment etc.

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When you’re afraid of illness it may be because you think have projected emotions that you think are unfavourable onto an unintelligent ’cause’.

But you haven’t removed these emotions, only think you’ve denied them – they’re always there.

Nothing can effect the Self; so give state-or-being its due, so to speak. There’s nothing ever too much because too much implies the world can remedy or that there is something to remedy… It’s okay to simply be equanimously with how you think and feel.

Thoughts can’t be fixed only thought or unthought. What you don’t want to feel about yourself is actually lovely, of when you first ‘created’ the division.

Begin to recognize the differences between emotion and sickness.

Love’s laws forever give and never take.

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I observe the thought pattern of how I am using things or world appearing fragmented as a catalyst to incite judgement. Around these controls I judge about myself for what is otherwise the same and perfectly accepted when not around these controls or if I were to ‘remove’ them.

The desire is to project the cause of my self outward, but I don’t desire to do this, because it’s to create salvation outside myself.

I am the same regardless of what control I ‘use’ or ‘remove’. These things or controls are not the cause of anything. I no longer desire to split off ‘part’ of myself. The world is never facilitator for splitting-off from myself.

I always feel the same; I’m never a different ‘person’ – self. Any negation present is a sign of believed judgement on top of the same Being or emotion. Forgive this – that you are experiencing the same Self as you always have regardless.

You may experience judgement or shame for when you believe, for example, you have given away responsibility for your happiness. However, this is just believed judgement again, because you feel indiscriminately as you would anytime. The cause is not the world; the cause is not you.

When stressed there may be the according thought ‘I need to do something in the world’ which is another way of saying ‘the world has cause for salvation’. Inaction is not what I’m advocating when i say that these statements aren’t true: – what’s untrue is there being a world outside of you.

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Love/God doesn’t punish you for your idols, only you think you punish yourself and then attempt to eject what must be worth this punishment. This is what you may think you want to eject, but “the mind would not understand it is its own enemy; that it attacks itself and wants to die.” It’s your own punishment you’re trying to project.

You’re only in supposed conflict when trying to eject. You may think you’re projecting automatically when experiencing yourself or all manner of emotion – you’re not. You have always been this way, or felt this way, since you are constant. Emotions are never testimony of separation. One God, One Child, One Will. Always comes back to the desire.

What we deem ‘unreasonable’ aspects that seem to arise periodically are always there though just not judged as unreasonable continually. You may recall an experience being at peace and recall another where you deem yourself unreasonable to you or your neighbour, though you are the same One constant, only the dream of ‘good’ and ‘bad’ is pushed to exemplify the guilt of this one self, so emotions are judged – or rather it’s believed the Self can judge – to make this so.

You are not punishing yourself for anything and never have – it was a thought only. There was never an impetus. It was all in your hands – there was never a reason.

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Ask yourself to do something that you can’t thankfully do anyway.
Thinking that the world can effect the body is believing the world can effect the Mind or Self because body is in the Mind, if you like; and if your body were to have a reaction to the world – it’s not the body having a reaction but the desire to split apart from oneself and choosing the world as facility or cause.

These thoughts are just thoughts, however, and there to be disbelieved. The desire to split is impossible to execute. Only in believing these thoughts does there seem to proceed an illusion that it’s possible. From one perspective the illusion plays out that you’ve successfully ejected what is troublesome and sought relief, but you’re simply instead not judging what’s always whole and always there. Believing in the desire to split is what ’causes’ what is ‘troublesome’ and what ‘isn’t’.

Truth, however, is ubiquitously sustained; one can day-dream but their truth is only one loving reality everywhere forever.

If we were to accept that as true then does one want to desire what they can’t do anyway? If placing division between oneself is impossible in truth then no thought will be spared on day-dreaming a world as effecting of the body because it’s unaffecting of the Mind/Self.*

*Capitalized Mind alludes to unconditional, One Mind, or Self. Mind not being rabid thinking.

spring/summer nh ’24