thegoldendolphin

What I found was the cornerstone regarding recognizing everyone as part of’ the Self was the inquiry into trauma.

There is an exclusivity at first glance of trauma. It protests of separation and an inequality that prohibits union; and is out of your hands.

If it is accepted logically, however, that there is One Self only, then all perceived attack is Self attack, – and I say perceived because there being One Self, attack must be impossible as it requires division initially.

Inequality is held up by inequality. From trauma, you perceive an unequal playing field, an impossible task of forgiveness due to you seeming to be so far less attacking than your neighbour.

What leveled this field for me was: that self-harm is not morally superior, and, contrary to habitual acceptance, I’m not inferior. If we are all equal, which is ironically the resounding, martyred cry of trauma, then you could look at it as I’m just as responsible for ‘attacking’ someone who didn’t deserve it – me. Me or one of the many perceived divisions of Self. She is no less worthy and she is no less equal.

With this then, I see the same ‘attack’ in myself as in everyone. This undoes the exclusivity and undoes the attack. The trauma is one trauma: that we believe the division is real.

All the world is images that I could decide against mySelf. What I see or what my body seems to be impugned with from where I perceive seems to be all images of the error or the illusion that I or the Self could ever decide against itself. A past line of trauma and injury and neglect and angry indignation: I look at these errors or scenarios that foster this anger, and the scenario or separation dissolves, and anger hangs calmed and causeless. All it was fighting for is not there for there’s just the Self. There’s a gladdening with this futility exposed because any scenarios that fostered this story are a ruse, if you like, to, only in a dream, unwittingly ‘decide’ away from an eternal, unconditional, loved Self.

.

summer ’24